Everyone is different in many different ways.

Why is it that there are some guys who can say anything to a girl and he has there heart, but myself who thinks I am coming on to that girl smoothly and instead I make a huge fool of myself. I met this girl a few months ago, she was amazing. . . I enjoyed her company, and yes I'll admit I really did like her. . . alot. But, she told me she only wanted to be friends. . . which is fine. . . I guess. So, next thing I know. . . she ignores me. No one wants to be ignored. . . specially by the girl your crushen. . . oh well. I gave up on her, she doesn't want to be a friend, she really just doesn't want to talk to me, thats how I see it anyways.

I am never good with girls. I come to realize it is LOOKS that matters with girls. So, am I going to change who I am for a girl? No, why should I!? I know I am not hot or whatever, but I am me, and she needs to like that. But, the thing is, she won't.

I think I try way to hard, seriously. I have tried to be like, I'll wait for a girl to like me, but it takes way to long. I am turning 19 in 2 months. I know there are people out there that are 25 or 30 or whatever and still have not found that someone, and I just don't know how you can cope that long. I can't!

Do I want the relationship for sexual pleasures? No. I honestly don't. All I really want. . . is someone to hold and love. Is that way to much to ask for? In all truthfulness, it is not a matter of want, I feel it is a need for me.

My boss told me to never rely on anyone but myself to be happy. . . they are such true words, specially since that special someone can not only make you happy. . . but also tear your heart out as well. I try to look at things the way my boss looks at them, but at the same time, that feeling inside is amazing. The small little sanddollar dust butterflys in your stomach that just makes you leap for joy. That happiness you feel inside when you see that special someone. I must sound like I really had my heart broken. . . I guess cause I did.

I have tried to just be bold and say how I feel, and that normally doesn't go good. So, I try to not say how I feel and she ends up dating some other guy and its to late. I try to be myself and that NEVER goes good, hahaha. I would say I give up. . . but i don't.